Big Nose Part 5
(KELLY enters)
KELLY
How did you beat me here?
CYRIL
I never left.
KELLY
What were you doing?
CYRIL
Um… preparing for the drill.
KELLY
All night?
(FRANK wonders in with other volunteers)
FRANK
Sorry we’re late. We were a little slow getting ready. It’s really early you know.
CYRIL
Where have you all been? Getting ready for what? The apocalypse?! I've been here for twenty minutes! We were to meet at the shelter to make our plan of attack. How can you know what equipment you'll need if you don't know what disaster we're facing? Oh, I wouldn't want to interfere with your busy schedule. In fact, why don't I tell you when a disaster is coming a week in advance? That way you can plan ahead of time to make sure you're free! But it's not going to happen! God doesn't call ahead to let me know when these things happen. They just do. And that's why we've got to be ready. Fine. Why don't you all go home. Take the day off. When there is an earthquake or a blizzard and the people crowd into this shelter looking for help, I'll tell them there's nothing we can do, because we're not prepared to help.
Go home then. I said go home!
(FRANK shrugs and leads other volunteers out)
KELLY?
What’s with you today?
CYRIL
I get really tired of being the only one who cares about all this. I just want to protect people. I just want to keep them safe.
KELLY
I know… you’re a good person, Cyril.
CYRIL
Yeah, I’m great. I’m a good guy. A nice pal. Wonderful buddy material.
KELLY
Okay, something else is wrong. It’s not only the volunteers that are bugging you. You have something else on your mind.
CYRIL
If need a shirk, I’ll go look up someone more qualified than you.
KELLY
Ouch… I’m on your side okay?
CYRIL
I’m sorry… that was uncalled for… what do I have left if I lose my charming personality?
KELLY
Ah… this is about something else isn’t it?
CYRIL
Now you’re psychic.
KELLY
Yes… now spill it or I’ll have to use my powers to dissect your brain.
CYRIL
It’s my nose.
KELLY
The nose blues again huh? You can talk to me about it.
CYRIL
I’m sick of talking about it. And I’m sick of my nose.
KELLY
I know it’s really hard for you. And that actor was a real jerk to you yesterday. That’s gotta hurt...
CYRIL
Save your breath. I don't need anyone's sympathy. I'm used to disappointment. I experience it every morning when I look in the mirror. Some people have bad hair days. I have bad nose days. You want to know what's wrong? Roxy and I were here all night talking. And that's we did was talk. And that's all we can ever do, is talk. What else would a woman want with me? She's beautiful and smart… And way out of my league. What is my league, anyway? Bearded ladies? The mail order kind? Don't even kid yourself. Someone like her is looking for someone a lot better looking than me.
(CYRIL sadly laughs)
CYRIL (CONT.)
Who'd want me anyway? Who'd want to wake up every morning and see a glorious nose. My nose is huge, enormous, vast! Hey, here's an accessory I should be proud to wear. I have been told a large nose is the sign of a large heart. It is a symbol of courage and courtesy. It makes me twice a man! It should. I have twice the nose. But what makes me great, unique and wonderful... makes me most undesirable.
(Looks off sadly)
All you see is my nose. That's all anyone sees. Roxy could never love me. You've helped me to see that now. I was a dreamer. Living in my mind. Flying to the moon and back. Riding on a moon beam. Skipping on clouds. I am a poet. A romantic. I shall always smell the rose but never touch it.
KELLY
I’m so sorry, Cyril. I didn’t realize…
CYRIL
So you’re not a mind reader after all?
KELLY
It’s hard with that thick skull of yours.
CYRIL
Hey, be nice… I’m vulnerable.
KELLY
You need a distraction… you need to come to the play tomorrow night.
CYRIL
But those actors are terrible. Where did you dig them up?
KELLY
Their troop was cheap and I need to keep this stage busy. They’re good for a few laughs.
CYRIL
Fine… I’ll come.
KELLY
Thanks. There’s nothing worse than an empty theatre.
CYRIL
With those actors, I’m not so sure about that.
KELLY
Roxy is going to be in the play tonight.
CYRIL
True.
KELLY
It’s just a small part but it will be fun to see her act, don’t you think?
CYRIL
Maybe…
KELLY
I know you’re conflicted. I’d understand if you wouldn’t want to see her right now.
CYRIL
I want to see her… that’s the problem. I don’t want to stop seeing her… ever again. Except I wish she could see me… really see me…
KELLY
Hopefully one day she will.
CYRIL
See you tonight then.
KELLY
You’re coming?
CYRIL
I wouldn’t miss it.
END OF SCENE
- "Big Nose" is a published play available from Amazon.com:
- ISBN-13: 978-1542471077