BIG NOSE PART 2
CAPTAIN
You think you could leave me the key to the theatre tonight? I’ll lock up. I’d like to have no interruptions while Roxy and I practice.
KELLY
Fat chance, Creepo. I’ll be here to keep an eye on things.
(SOLDIER is practicing his swordplay. He tries to get CAPTAIN to spar with him but CAPTAIN waves him off. SOLDIER does some practice alone. CYRIL enters sweeping. He jumps into the sword play with SOLDIER with a broom and disarms him who makes a face at CYRIL, picks up his sword and leaves)
CYRIL
Hey, Kelly.
(CAPTAIN notices CYRIL’s huge nose)
CAPTAIN
Holy cow! Look at the size of your nose.
CYRIL
Is it big?
CAPTAIN
Huge! I’ve never seen such a big nose.
KELLY
You have permission to punch him if you want?
CAPTAIN
I mean… I didn’t know such noses were possible.
CYRIL
I am one of a kind.
CAPTAIN
More like two of a kind.
CYRIL
Why should I be offended, Kelly? He just called me twice the man.
CAPTAIN
Catch you later… Big Nose.
(CAPTAIN exits)
SOLDIER
I’d like to say he’s not always this much of a jerk but then I’d be lying.
(SOLDIER exits)
KELLY
Wow, I’ve seen you flip out over much less than that.
CYRIL
I have no hate in my heart today for I am in love.
KELLY
Again?
CYRIL
For real this time.
KELLY
With who?
CYRIL
Roxy.
KELLY
Who isn’t?
CYRIL
What do you mean?
KELLY
She’s a very beautiful woman. Everyone likes her. Especially the actor who just called you Big Nose.
CYRIL
What?!
KELLY
Want to kill him now?
(CYRIL is sad now)
CYRIL
What’s the point? How do I have a shot against guys like that?
KELLY
Because he’s a complete loser.
CYRIL
With a nice little nose… and chiseled features… why would Roxy want to be seen with a guy like me?
KELLY
Because you’re kind… you’re funny… you’re smart.
CYRIL
With a really big nose.
KELLY
So many guys are a waste of food. I just keep my guy around so he can open jars.
CYRIL
Come on. Frank is a good guy.
KELLY
I thought you said if he was late to another emergency drill that you’d give him a swift kick in the back side.
CYRIL
I did say that didn’t I? Those emergency drills put me in a bad mood.
KELLY
Then why do them?
CYRIL
I’m trying to keep our community safe. I do those drills so our community is prepared for an emergency. I want to save lives.
KELLY
That’s why you’re a good guy… you care about others…
CYRIL
Maybe I care too much.
KELLY
Don’t get yourself too caught up on Roxy though okay?
CYRIL
Because of all the competition? She have a boyfriend?
KELLY
I probably shouldn’t be telling you this but she did break up someone recently.
CYRIL
She did?
KELLY
Don’t get that look in your eyes. She needs time to recover. It’s not the right time to make your move.
CYRIL
I know it’s hopefully. It is always is for me. But sometimes a guy wants to dream a little.
KELLY
As long as you wake up sometimes…
CYRIL
I get a healthy dose of reality every time I look in the mirror… or sneeze.
I know I’m not destined to love… so I hope I’m destined for some greater good instead… that’s why I do things volunteer for those emergency drills and soup kitchens and help out at the old folks home. I want to matter to someone in this world.
KELLY
You matter to a lot of people including me.
CYRIL
But I want to matter to someone who loves me… more than a friend. Someone I can live life with and grow old with and really connect with.
KELLY
I’m married and I’m not sure that’s what you always get.
CYRIL
But you two really care about each other. I see it. You have a connection.
KELLY
For better or worse.
CYRIL
That’s better than what I have. Nothing. But when I see Roxy...
KELLY
Cyril… please…
