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Outlaws of Candy Kitchen Part 3 melodrama stage play script

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Outlaws of Candy Kitchen 
Part 3 

(Knock at door: shave and a haircut)
AUDIENCE: It's the secret knock.


BERTHA: It's the secret knock.  I'll get it.


KID: You got any cactus candy?



(BERTHA shuts door on kid)


BERTHA: You've got to change that password.


FLO: So what's on the schedule tonight?


BERTHA: Yeah, we want some entertainment.


BONNEY: I was hoping you wouldn't ask.


FLO: Where's the band?


BERTHA: Where's the singer?


AUDIENCE:  Music, music


BONNEY: Quiet! I have something special planned tonight.


JOHN: Drinks on the house?


BERTHA: Yeap, they're up on the roof, John.


JOHN: Boy, howdy! (Runs out)



BERTHA: He'd jump off a bridge if I told him.
FLO:  As long as there was a drink at the bottom.


BONNEY:  You're all in for a special treat.   Charlie's learned a new song.  (To piano player)   Hit it Charlie.  


(Charlie plays something very similar to what he's been playing)


BERTHA: That sounds exactly the same to me.


BONNEY:  Charlie assured me an extra note.   (Extra note heard by itself)   Ah, there it is.   


(JOHN returns looking confused)


BERTHA:  I want some real entertainment.
JOHN:  Well, if you insist.

FLO: This should be good.


JOHN: For your information, I was a talented actor in my day. Did some real serious theatre at one time.


BONNEY: Bet you really knocked 'em dead.

BERTHA: Yeah, with his breath.
JOHN: Go ahead and laugh. Once you hear me sing you'll be sorry.

BERTHA: I'm sure we will.


JOHN: (To CHARLIE)
Maestro? Ready?
(CHARLIE nods)

A one, a two, a…


(JOHN passes out on the floor. FLO, and BERTHA applaud)
FLO: Beautiful!
 Stunning performance.


BERTHA: Encore', encore'


BONNEY: Anyone else want to give it a try?


FLO: No one could top that.


BERTHA: That was an interesting way of doing that song.


FLO: I never knew such music was possible.


BERTHA: I was moved.


BONNEY:  Will you two knock it off?  (Gets JOHN)


JOHN: (Wakes) How was I?   Did I knock 'em dead?


BONNEY: Let's just say I knocked somebody dead.  (Helps him into chair) There you go.


JOHN: I need another drink.


BONNEY: I think you've had enough.


JOHN: Don't worry.  I'm not drunk. I'm just pretending.  The "big plan" remember?  I'm under cover you know.

BERTHA: And pretty soon you'll be under the table.


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