"The Cinnamon Roll of Happiness" short script for 4 actors by D. M. Larson
[work in progress]
(JAMES is a homeless looking man sitting at a table in an outdoor cafe eating some food)
HOST: What are you doing?
JAMES: Eating.
HOST: This isn’t your table.
JAMES: It isn’t?
HOST: No. You’re eating someone else’s food.
JAMES: They were done. They left. Here is the signed receipt. They left a nice tip.
HOST: How generous. Now, leave.
JAMES: What will you do with all this food?
HOST: Throw it in the trash. You can find it there later.
JAMES: I’d rather eat it now.
HOST: I’d rather you didn’t.
JAMES: Waste not, want not.
HOST: Must I get security?
JAMES: Look, I can pay. I have money. I can order something.
(JAMES waves to waitress)
WAITRESS: How can I help you?
HOST: You can’t.
WAITRESS: Something wrong?
JAMES: I’d like to order one of those super healthy juices… the green superfood one.
WAITRESS: Coming right up.
(WAITRESS goes and HOST is frustrated)
HOST: No, it is not coming right up. You need to leave.
JAMES: What’s your problem?
HOST: Someone has reserved this table already.
JAMES: There’s other tables.
HOST: Not like this one.
JAMES: It does have a nice view.
HOST: The best view. That’s why I need it immediately.
JAMES: Very relaxing.
HOST: And highly desired by some of our most elite clients.
JAMES: You got someone pretty special wanting this table, eh?
HOST: Indeed... so will you please move.
JAMES: After I get my juice.
(WAITRESS comes in with a green drink. She has one hand behind her back)
WAITRESS: Here you go.
(HOST snags the drink)
HOST: No, no, no.
(HOST exits with drink. WAITRESS reveals another drink from behind her back and gives it to JAMES)
WAITRESS: I thought he might do that. That was a decoy. Here’s your drink.
JAMES: Thank you so much.
WAITRESS: Anything else?
JAMES: How about one of your famous cinnamon rolls?
WAITRESS: Warmed up?
JAMES: With butter.
WAITRESS: Of course.
(WAITRESS exits and HOST enters with SECURITY)
HOST: Remove the vagabond please.
(HOST does a snotty look and gesture at JAMES and goes)
SECURITY: Come on, let’s go.
JAMES: Have you ever had the cinnamon rolls here?
SECURITY: No, I’m not allowed to eat on the job. And they don’t have an employee discount or anything. I can’t really afford the food here.
JAMES: The cinnamon rolls are amazing.
(WAITRESS brings one out)
WAITRESS: Here you go. Nice and warm with extra butter.
JAMES: Amazing. Can you bring me another one?
WAITRESS: Sure. Coming right up.
(WAITRESS exits)
JAMES: Here, try it.
(SECURITY looks off stage nervously)
SECURITY: Um, I don’t know.
JAMES: If you try it, then I will come with you peacefully.
SECURITY: That sounds reasonable.
(JAMES gives SECURITY a fork. SECURITY sits down and takes a bite and gets a look of delight)
SECURITY: That is amazing.
JAMES: I know!
SECURITY: It melts in your mouth.
JAMES: Incredible isn’t it? Try some more.
SECURITY: Oh, wow. I’ve always smelled them cooking these.
I’ve always wondered how good they might be. This is better than I imagined.
JAMES: Have the rest.
SECURITY: We better hurry.
(WAITRESS enters with box)
WAITRESS: I thought I better make this one to go. Someone is looking a little angry back there.
JAMES: Good thinking. Thank you. Keep the change.
(JAMES gives WAITRESS a wad of money)
WAITRESS: I don’t mind getting you change.
JAMES: No need
WAITRESS: Are you sure?
JAMES: More than sure. You all work so hard here and made my day so much happier. I’m happy to do something in return.
WAITRESS: I hope it’s okay if I clear this table now.
JAMES: Of course. I’ll help.
WAITRESS: You don’t have to.
JAMES: I insist.
SECURITY: I’ll help too.
(They all work together and clear the table and exit. HOST enters looking smug and satisfied)
HOST: Much better.
(SECURITY enters still eating cinnamon roll. Stops when he sees HOST)
SECURITY: The vagrant has been removed from the premises.
HOST: Well, done. And his contraband has been recovered. That waitress needs to be fired.
(HOST prepares table for next guest)
SECURITY: Oh, no. You don’t need to do that. The vagrant paid for everything.
HOST: I doubt it.
SECURITY: I saw it with my own eyes. He even tipped the waitress.
HOST: With counterfeit money, I’ll bet. Or stolen money.
SECURITY: As far as I can see, no crime was committed here. Everyone cooperated. No one needs to be punished.
HOST: Look here, you two-bit rent-a-cop. We don’t pay you to have opinions. I know what I saw and I know I am right.
(HOST takes cinnamon roll)
HOST: Allow me to throw this in the trash for you.
SECURITY: No.
HOST: What?
SECURITY: This was a gift.
HOST (cont.): What are you talking about?
SECURITY: It was paid for and it was a gift… to me. And I like it.
(SECURITY lifts the fork slowly and defiantly, about to eat, stops, sighs, and gives it up to HOST)
HOST: Good choice.
(HOST exits with cinnamon roll. WAITRESS enters with a box)
WAITRESS: That was brave what you did there, standing up for yourself like that)
SECURITY: Not quite. I backed down.
WAITRESS: But you did speak up. That’s more than I can do.
SECURITY: Thanks.
WAITRESS: Here’s a little reward.
SECURITY: A cinnamon roll?
WAITRESS: I thought you might like another one.
SECURITY: Thanks.
WAITRESS: One good turn deserves another.
END OF SCENE
(This is a work in progress that goes with the following scene: https://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2020/01/tongues-of-fire-short-script-for-3.html)