LOSERS IN LOVE
By D. M. Larson
Copyright © 2016
All Rights Reserved
For permission to use this script, contact doug@freedrama.net
*Please do not repost the text of this play online in any way.*
PART 1
(FRANK and RANDY are sitting in a cafe. The cafe has a lot of retro posters of old movie stars and memorabilia. There are other signs such as Free WiFi and “Enjoy free casual office space”. There can be several people in the cafe already including TASHA [attractive business type] and MARIANNE [shy woman in hoodie and thick glasses listening to something on headphones]. A guy in cow costume, MR. MOO, is in the background. JENNY is at the counter working as a barista. TONY enters)
TONY
I had a feeling you would be here.
RANDY
He’s always here now.
TONY
Ever since Jenny got this job.
FRANK
It’s awesome. I can relax and my girlfriend will bring me anything I want.
JENNY
Here is a mocha mint extra sweet for my sweetie.
(JENNY gives FRANK a drink and sneaks a kiss. Then JENNY heads back to work)
RANDY
She has to be nice to everyone. Watch. Hey, Jenny. How about some sugar for my coffee?
(JENNY throws some sugar packets at him)
TONY
Yes, that was the same level of service for sure.
FRANK
So how are you and Jane doing, Tony?
TONY
Awesome… she gave me this amazing back rub last night…
FRANK
Whoa… TMI dude.
(JENNY brings TONY a drink)
JENNY
You should try my back rubs, Frank.
FRANK
Oh, yeah?
JENNY
If you give me some foot rubs tonight, you might find yourself getting some nice rubs in return.
FRANK
Really?
(JENNY hands RANDY a napkin)
JENNY
Yes, here’s some napkins, guys. You’re drooling.
(JENNY goes back to the counter)
TONY
We are lucky guys.
FRANK
I’ve never been happier.
RANDY
Yeah, same with me.
TONY
You’re dating someone?
RANDY
Yeah, she’s was awesomer than your girls. She is rich… and famous… and…
FRANK
Famous? So who is she?
RANDY
Well, not so famous you’d know her.
FRANK
Of course.
RANDY
And she buys me lots of stuff and takes me on cool trips.
FRANK
Where’s all this stuff she’s been buying you?
RANDY
I don’t like to show it off.
TONY
And she’s taking you on trips? Where did you go?
FRANK
And when did you go? I have seen you around here an awful lot.
RANDY
I’m not supposed to talk about it. It’s all related to her famous stuff and it’s all very hush hush.
FRANK
Secret famous stuff huh? Very interesting.
RANDY
She’s so much better than your girls. I’m luckier than the both of you put together.
TONY
You’ll have to bring her by some time to meet us.
RANDY
She’s far too busy for that.
TONY
Okay, whatever. You ready to go Frank? You needed a ride right?
FRANK
Yes, let’s go. See you, Jenny!
(JENNY gives him a little bag and a kiss)
JENNY
There’s a special little something for you in the bag.
FRANK
You’re the best.
JENNY
No, you’re the best.
FRANK
No, you are.
(TONY and FRANK exit)
RANDY
I think I’m going to be sick.
JENNY
Not on my shift, you’re not.
RANDY
Leave me alone, Jenny. Can’t you see I’m upset?
JENNY
What’s with the big girlfriend lie?
RANDY
I didn’t lie. She’s real.
JENNY
What’s her name?
RANDY
Um…
(sees a Marilyn Monroe poster in the cafe)
Marilyn…
(JENNY looks where he is looking)
JENNY
Marilyn… Monroe?
RANDY
You know her?
JENNY
I’ve heard of her… yes.
RANDY
See… very famous.
JENNY
And very dead.
RANDY
What? She died… oh, man… my girlfriend is dead. This is terrible. What am I going to do?
JENNY
Get professional help.
(JENNY shoos RANDY away)
(RANDY goes and sits with a tablet/laptop/gaming device)
(RANDY goes and sits with a tablet/laptop/gaming device)
