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Lesson 11 Climax Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

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Lesson 11 - CLIMAX


The climax is the most exciting part of your story. Everything in your story leads up to this moment. This is the key to everything, the key moment that is the most important to the entire story. This is the breaking point that changes everything. The conflict causes this moment to happen.


The Wizard of Oz has several important moments, but I would say the Climax is when Dorothy defeats the Witch since this is tied to the main conflict. Unfortunately this may not be the most exciting moment in the movie but it is memorable. Who can forget the witch melting away after Dorothy throws water on her. Such a simple solution to such a big problem.  


One might argue that the plot of getting to see the Wizard is the main one so this climax is not as clear as some movie. And some movies do have multiple climatic moments. Recent superhero movies seem to have multiple major moments such as Captain America: Civil War. You have the big moment between the two set of super heroes facing off at the airport but then you have another major moment where Captain America and Iron Man have a final face off. How many big climactic scenes does one movie need? One is enough but Marvel will disagree I’m sure.


A movie with a very clear climax is the original Star Wars movie (a New Hope).  It’s all about blowing up the Death Star and it all leads up to that moment where Luke does the honors. There is a subplot of being a Jedi which culminates at the death of Ben Kenobi but the movie is very much about destroying the Death Star and everything is tied to that in the end.


ASSIGNMENT 11A: What will the be climax of your story? What will everything lead up to? What dramatic/major moment will be created by your climax and help bring about a resolution in the end? If you need help, type up your notes and email your question and your notes to me at doug@freedrama.net


Assignment 11B: Take a look at one of your favorite books or movies. What was the climax? What was the main moment it all led up to?  How did everything in the story lead up to this moment?  Post your comments in the blog.



Climax Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers




Lesson 10 Conflict Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

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Lesson 10 - Conflict


What will be the conflict in your story?  Conflict drives most stories. It doesn’t have to be a bad guy vs. a good guy. Two friends can have a conflict. Or it could be something external such as a storm/tornado/flood/snowstorm that creates the conflict. Or someone could be struggling with an internal problem that makes a conflict. Basically, what is the problem in the story that needs to be solved?  


The main conflict in the Wizard of Oz is between Dorothy (who wants to get home) and the Wicked Witch who wants the shoes Dorothy got from her sister. The motives of these two characters are not the same, but the ruby slippers have created an unintended conflict between them. Dorothy and the Witch did not plan on being enemies but what happens in the plot creates the conflict. First Dorothy’s house falls on the Witch’s sister and kills her.  Then Glenda gives the ruby slippers to Dorothy which the Witch wants.


You can have two excellent characters you like, but maybe something happens that creates an unexpected conflict. Or maybe an external force (weather, aliens, etc.) creates a conflict that bring enemies together.


ASSIGNMENT 10A: Write about the conflict in your story. What will the main conflict be? What will create it?

ASSIGNMENT 10B: What is the main conflict in one of your favorite books or movies? Post in the comments below.



If you need help at any time, type up your notes and email your question and your notes to me at doug@freedrama.net

Conflict Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

Lesson 9 Dialog Free Online Writing for New Writers

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Lesson 9 - Dialog


Have your characters talk to each other. Focus on two characters first.


Do not have them explain the plot.  Just think of normal conversation between these characters. Let the plot happen. It is more important that your characters seem real and are having real conversation. Keep the plot in mind and in the back of your head, but let the characters talk first. Help us to get to know them through the way they speak.


Read the dialog out loud, ideally with another person.  Does the dialog feel natural, like real speech?  If not, try rewriting the dialog.


Do the two characters sound different?


In the Wizard of Oz, you’ll notice that Dorothy speaks differently than the people from Oz. And many of the characters have their own way of speaking.


Examples:


Do you see any difference in the way these characters speak?


Miss Gulch: [stopping bicycle and getting off] Mister Gale!
Uncle Henry Gale: Well, howdy, Miss Gulch.
Miss Gulch: [comes into the Gales' yard] I want to see you and your wife right away about Dorothy!
Uncle Henry Gale: Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?
Miss Gulch: What she's done? I'm all but lame from the bite on my leg!
Uncle Henry Gale: Oh! You mean she bit you?
Miss Gulch: No, her dog!
Uncle Henry Gale: Oh, she bit her dog, eh?
[Uncle Henry tries to shut the gate, but it hits her on the backside]
Miss Gulch: [exasperated] No!
(from imbd.com)


I would say that the pacing is different. Miss Gulch’s speech is to the point and Uncle Henry takes his time and also has a playfulness to his speech.


In this next example, you’ll see a clear difference between Dorothy and the Witch. Dorothy is very young sounding and focused on her dog, unaware and innocent. The witch sounds older and analyzes the situation which comes out in her words.


Dorothy: [Toto is held hostage by the Witch and one of her monkeys] What are you gonna do to my dog? Give him back to me!
Wicked Witch of the West: All in good time, my little pretty. All in good time.
Dorothy: Oh, please give me back my dog?
Wicked Witch of the West: Certainly. Certainly. When you give me those slippers.
Dorothy: But, The Good Witch of the North told me not to.
[to her flying monkey]
Wicked Witch of the West: Throw that basket into the river and drown him!
Dorothy: No, no, no! Here... You can have your old slippers. But, give me back Toto!
Wicked Witch of the West: That's a good little girl. I know you'd see reason!
[the Witch stoops to steal the shoes. But, fire burns Dorothy's toes and the Witch's hands. she reacts in pain]
Dorothy: I'm sorry! I didn't do it. Can I still have my dog?
Wicked Witch of the West: No! Fool that I am! I should have remembered! Those slippers will never come off as long as you're alive. But's that not what's worrying me. It's how to do it. These things must be done delicately or you hurt the spell.
(from imbd.com)


When writing dialog, consider your character’s ages and motives. Giving them unique slang and phrases is helpful too. In the Uncle Henry example, you’ll see he says “oh” and “well” a lot and even throws in a “howdy” which fits his character well.


ASSIGNMENT 9A: Write a short scene between two of your characters and have them discuss something. Read the dialog out loud, ideally with another person.  Does the dialog feel natural, like real speech?  If not, think about how your characters are different and give them some unique ways of speaking, including slang and phrases they like to use.


ASSIGNMENT 9B: What is a movie or tv show or book you enjoy with two really different characters in a scene together? Is their dialog and way of speaking different from each other? In what ways do the characters speak differently? Post your answers in the blog post below.




or 



If you need help at any time, type up your notes and email your question and your notes to me at doug@freedrama.net

Lesson 8 The Hook Free Online Writing School for New Actors

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Lesson 8 - The Hook - How will you start your story? Once upon a time? It was a dark and stormy night?  You want to start with a good hook.


Look back at your notes. Is there something that jumps out at you as really important?  Something really exciting?  Something very funny?


For example in the movie, The Wizard of Oz, the hook would be the tornado that takes Dorothy to Oz and the discovery of the new land.


You can use the hook describe the setting or set the stage. You definitely want it to create a mood.


Don’t get stuck here though. Don’t let this overwhelm you. If you have trouble skip to Lesson 8 and come back.


Assignment 8A: What might be a good hook for your story?  This can be a tough part to figure out so you can skip to other lessons while you think about it. If you need help, type up your notes and email your question and your notes to me at doug@freedrama.net


Assignment 8B: what was the hook for your favorite book or movie? What drew you in? Was it right away or how long into the story did the hook happen?


Remember - Don’t worry about being good or making the story a certain length. Have fun!




or 



The Hook Free Online Writing School for New Actors



Lesson 7 Goal Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

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Lesson 7 - GOAL


What is your goal for the story?


Is there something you want to say?


For example, The Wizard of Oz might be trying to say “There’s no place like home.” In other words, appreciate what you have.  Or it might be asking the question, “Is the grass greener on the other side?” (Oz being the other side) Maybe it looks great at first but there are witches lurking.  


Assignment 7A: What is your goal for your project? What are you trying to say? Add to your notes and then continue to lesson 8.


Assignment 7B: What is one of your favorite books or movies you enjoy over and over again? What do you think the writers were trying to say? Accomplish?




or 



If you need help at any time, type up your notes and email your question and your notes to me at doug@freedrama.net

Goal Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

Lesson 6 Review Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

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Lesson 6 - REVIEW - Review your notes.  Can you answer these important questions:


Who is in the story?  Who are your characters?  
Where does the story take place?  Where is the setting?  
When does the story happen?
What happens in the story?  What is the plot?


If you can answer all these questions, then you’re probably ready to start writing.


ASSIGNMENT 6A: Put all these notes together and see how they fit. Do they work together? Do they make sense together. Expand on your notes by adding a couple more thoughts.  First why is the story happening? Why are these characters together? Why is the setting important? Why does the story matter to you?  Organize your notes and prepare for Phase 2 of the class.  If you need help at any time, type up your notes and email your question and your notes to me at doug@freedrama.net


ASSIGNMENT 6B: Which part of this class has been the more helpful so far? Which part do you have questions about?  




or 



OPTIONAL BONUS: Respond to a post by another student and discuss writing. Keep the posts positive and supportive. Students who are negative toward other students will not receive a certificate or instructor feedback at the end of the class.


Review Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

Lesson 5 Plot Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

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Lesson 5 - PLOT - Now you will make notes about what happens.  What happens in the story? When does the story take place?  Does the story happen now, in the past or in the future?  


Look at your characters and your setting and your original notes and ideas?  What is something that can happen to your characters in the setting you picked?


ASSIGNMENT 5A: Brainstorm as many ideas as possible about what could happen to your characters and what might happen in the setting you picked. Go back over your ideas and pick your favorites. Ideally come up with one favorite thing that will happen or a series of related things for your plot. Save these notes for lesson 6.


ASSIGNMENT 5B: In the comments below, talk about a story or movie that had a really interesting or surprising plot that is memorable. What is a movie or book you watch or read again and again? Is the plot something that keeps you coming back for more? Why?


OPTIONAL BONUS: Respond to a post by another student and discuss writing. Keep the posts positive and supportive. Students who are negative toward other students will not receive a certificate or instructor feedback at the end of the class.


If you need help at any time, type up your notes and email your question and your notes to me at doug@freedrama.net

Plot Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

Lesson 4 Setting Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

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Lesson 4 - SETTING - Next you will come up with a setting for your story. Look at your notes and ideas, as well as your characters. Where should your story take place? Where is a good place for your ideas to happen? What kind of place would you find your characters in?  A setting is so important that it is almost like another character in your story.


ASSIGNMENT 4A: Create a lot of details about your setting. Search online or in books for pictures that look like your setting or better yet, go out and take a picture of a place where the story could take place. Write as many detailed notes about this place as possible. All these notes don’t need to be in your finished story but they are good for you to know before you start writing. Saves these notes for lesson 5.


ASSIGNMENT 4B: What is a story or movie that you love that has a fun and unique setting? What is different about this setting that you enjoy? Could the story happen anywhere else or is the setting important to the story?


OPTIONAL BONUS: Respond to a post by another student and discuss writing. Keep the posts positive and supportive. Students who are negative toward other students will not receive a certificate or instructor feedback at the end of the class.




or 



If you need help at any time, type up your notes and email your question and your notes to me at doug@freedrama.net


Setting Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers



Lesson 3 Characters Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

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Lesson 3 - CHARACTERS - Look at your notes and pick one of the ideas you find the most interesting. Expand this good idea in three ways to make a story: characters, setting and plot.


First, come up with some characters. Who are some characters that can be in this story? Give them names and describe them. What are these characters like? Why are they in this story? What makes them important to the story? Come up with at least 2 characters.


ASSIGNMENT 3A: Write as much as possible about each of these characters. If you can draw, make a picture of them. Or find a famous actor you think could play this character. Or find a song that could be a theme song for this character. Really get to know your character inside and out. All the notes do not need to be in your finished story but you should know as much as possible about your characters before you write something. Save these notes for lesson 4.


ASSIGNMENT 3B: Post in the comments below - Who are some of your favorite characters in books and movies?  Why do you enjoy these characters? Why do you think these characters are better than most?


OPTIONAL BONUS: Respond to a post by another student and discuss writing. Keep the posts positive and supportive. Students who are negative toward other students will not receive a certificate or instructor feedback at the end of the class.




or 




You can purchase a low cost PDF of this class at http://www.currclick.com/product/104552/Writing-Help-for-New-Writers

If you need help at any time, type up your notes and email your question and your notes to me at doug@freedrama.net


Characters Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers


Lesson 2 Developing Ideas - Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

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Lesson 2 - IDEAS - Look at your notes. Is there anything interesting you would like to write more about?  Add ideas to your notes. Be creative. Maybe you wrote a note about this great dessert you ate. Add more details about how good it was. Or be creative and write about how the dessert comes to life and tries to eat you! Or maybe the dessert gives you superpowers. Have fun with your notes. Be wacky. Be weird. Just have fun playing with new ideas.


ASSIGNMENT 2A: Expand on as many of your notes as possible by adding new and creative ideas to each. Save these notes for lesson 3.


ASSIGNMENT 2B: Post in the blog comments about some of your favorite writers and why you like their writing.




or 



OPTIONAL BONUS: Respond to a post by another student and discuss writing. Keep the posts positive and supportive. Students who are negative toward other students will not receive a certificate or instructor feedback at the end of the class.

You can purchase a low cost PDF of this class at http://www.currclick.com/product/104552/Writing-Help-for-New-Writers


Need help? Have questions? Email your instructor Doug Larson at doug@freedrama.net



Lesson 1 Write! Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

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Lesson 1 - WRITE!  Write, write and write some more. Write about anything. Write about everything. Keep a journal or notebook and write about your day.  You can simply make a list of things that happen. Try to do something different during your day as a way to get inspiration. Go to a new store or restaurant, read a new book, watch a new show or movie. Also watch or read the news and make notes about interesting stories you see. Keep a notebook and write down your thoughts during the day. Write as much as possible and don’t worry about it being good. Just do some writing and put some thoughts down on paper… as many as possible.


ASSIGNMENT 1A: Create a lot of notes this week to be ready for lesson 2.


ASSIGNMENT 1B: Post in the blog comments an introduction of yourself and why you’re interested in writing.




or 




OPTIONAL BONUS: Respond to a post by another student and discuss writing. Keep the posts positive and supportive. Students who are negative toward other students will not receive a certificate or instructor feedback at the end of the class.

You can purchase a low cost PDF of this class at http://www.currclick.com/product/104552/Writing-Help-for-New-Writers


Need help? Have questions? Email your instructor Doug Larson at doug@freedrama.net


Write! Free Online Writing Classes for New Writers

Phase 2 Actual Writing Free Online Classes for New Writers

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PHASE 2 - ACTUAL WRITING


The main rule for this class is to have fun. Don’t worry about your writing being good. You can always rewrite it later. For now, just play around and enjoy the process.


I have ordered the lessons so they go in order of a story’s structure. Feel free to jump around on these lessons. When you write, you do not need to write in order. Many times, I actually jump around and write out of order. Sometimes I write the ending first. Sometimes I write a key part of the story first. And sometimes I might just write a random scene with the characters.


As a write you will want to read a lot as well. Read the masters of the type of writing you want to write. I read tons of plays when I started out as a playwright. My favorite play (and movie) is Amadeus. I read the play and watched the movie many times. It was very inspiring and became a model for my early writing.


But I’ll pick a more family friendly, well known movie, play/musical and story to look at as an example in this class: The Wizard of Oz.  As much as I’d love to write something as amazing as Amadeus, I know that the Wizard of Oz is more my style as a writer. My scripts for kids tend to be the most popular of my plays and they are fun to write. I even wrote my own Oz type script called “Holka Polka” so the Wizard of Oz is a story I have a lot of respect for and see as an inspirational work for my writing.


So find a good model for the type of writing you would like to do… and there is nothing wrong with trying different styles. Don’t force yourself into a box or a category right away. Be open to different types of writing. I tried to write more serious plays at first and wrote a terrible play that I hoped would be my Amadeus. I learned a lot from it though and eventually found my niche… light comedy and family plays. I enjoy comedy and family plays and have fun with them.  And audiences like them too.  I would be more than happy to write something as classic as Wizard of Oz that has been loved by many generations.


Start writing your story or play now. If you are writing poetry, please contact me and we’ll discuss how we’ll do the upcoming lessons.

Free Online Class Phase 1 Writing Help for New Writers Ideas and Planning

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PHASE 1 - IDEAS AND PLANNING


Welcome to the Freedrama Online Writing School, a place where you can get help with your creative writing.


This class is for new writers including young students who are starting to write for the first time. Any level of writer is welcome, but I would like everyone to approach this like you are new and inexperienced so you are open to what I am teaching with fresh eyes.


Any type of writer is welcome. I write plays, but I am happy to work with prose and poetry writers too. If you would like to write poetry, let me know. The first 6 lessons will work for all types of writers but I will need to modify the second half of the class for poets.


Since this is a new class, please email me feedback and questions. I would like this class to be helpful to you and future students.


If you’re a teacher, feel free to test this out with your students. I would love to hear your feedback after using these lessons and I would be happy to talk with your students and give feedback. You can purchase a low cost PDF of this class at http://www.currclick.com/product/104552/Writing-Help-for-New-Writers


The focus on this class is to develop some basic creative writing skills. This class is not about publishing or making money. It is about developing a love of writing and having fun with it.


At the end of the class, you will receive a certificate and feedback on your writing from instructor Doug Larson.
Link to the bio of D. M. Larson  http://freedrama.net/bio.html
Link to books by D. M. Larson http://amzn.to/2kPaXWM

Copyright notice: We would love to have you share a link to this free online class but please do not repost the text of the class onto another website.




Free Online Classes Writing Help for New Writers Ideas and Planning

Rednecks vs Aliens comedy stage play script for four actors

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REDNECKS VS ALIENS
by D. M. Larson
Copyright (c) 2017
All Rights Reserved

Please contact doug@freedrama.net for permission to perform this script

***
PART 1


JJ
Aliens, There’s Aliens!


JACOB
What are you talking about?


JJ
Aliens!


JACOB
I got that part… what about aliens?


JJ
They’ll all over Seattle.


JACOB
Why are there aliens in Seattle?


JJ
They need the rain to keep their skin moist.


JACOB
How did we not notice an alien invasion?


JJ
No clue… They even hid their spaceship in plain sight.


JACOB
Where?


JJ
The Space Needle.


JACOB
No.. the Space Needle is really a spaceship?


JJ
Yuy- huh. I heard their secret plan. They’re using mind control with something they put in the coffee - SpaceLoot Coffee.


JACOB
Why would they reveal their secret plan in front of you?


JJ
They said I was the dumbest human they ever met. And just for fun they wanted to mess with my mind. They said no one would believe someone like me - what do they mean by that?


JACOB
JJ, they were just joking around.


JJ
No - this is real - very real.


JACOB
Maybe bringing you to Seattle wasn't such a good idea.


JJ
That's what they'll be saying when I'm done with ‘em.


JACOB
So the Space Needle was built in 1962 I think. How did we not notice aliens building it?


JJ
You city folk just let things happen and don't question oddities. Something out of the ordinary is ordinary to you all - you all like it weird.


JACOB
Hmmm - I'm surprised they didn't pick Portland then - that's their motto - keep it weird.


JJ
What year was SpaceLoot started?


JACOB
Let me see… says on their cup -  1971.


JJ
See! Space Needle 1962. SpaceLoot coffee in 1971…


Jacob
You're scaring me JJ.


JJ
I'm scared too.


Jacob
I'm not scared of the aliens I'm scared of you.


JJ
Stop it!


(JJ knocks coffee cup out of JACOB’s hand)


Jacob
What did you do that for?!


JJ
They are mind controlling you with their coffee!


Jacob
Maybe it's time I took you back home.


JJ
No. I'm not leaving Seattle until I stop this alien threat. It's my duty as a red blooded ‘mercan.


Jacob
And how do you propose that we defeat this alien incursion?


JJ
That's why I came to you. You’s smart. You got one of them fancy degrees. Let's put it to work smarty boy.


Jacob
I'm not sure my MBA covered this sort of thing.


JJ
Then I’ll have to rely on my good old fashioned street smarts.


Jacob
Oh dear.


JJ
The aliens like rain. So we just have to find a way to make it stop raining.


Jacob
In Seattle? Good luck.


JJ
Maybe I could zap them with some kind of heat ray.


Jacob
Sure… Give Dr. Evil a call. He may have one in reserve.


JJ
Cool - what's his number?


Jacob
Uh… 1-800… Doc evil?


JJ
I hate those letter numbers
Let's see -
D is 3…


Jacob
Uh - JJ… I was kidding… don’t...


JJ
Hello? I need help. There’s all these aliens in Seattle… Uh huh - you know about them too? Well, I found their headquarters. The SpaceLoot Coffee at Pikes Place Market. You wanna meet tomorrow?  Sure - how about high noon?  Cool… see you then Doc.


Jacob
Are you serious?


JJ
I got a Mega Mountain News Reporter - Dr. Down with Evil


Jacob
What are the odds?


JJ
Pretty good now that we have help.


JACOB
Where’s he from?


JJ
Portland.


JACOB
I should have known.


(Knock at the door. They go to the window. JJ hides and JACOB waves)


JJ
It's them! They followed me.


JACOB
Oh I know them. They are SpaceLoot distributors for the area. They are always bringing free samples to the bank.


JJ
I have find a weapon. We have to defend ourselves!


(JJ exits)


JACOB
Don't do anything that will get us arrested.


(JACOB opens the door - two unusual looking women enter - one has blue hair and the other has green)


BLUE
Hello Jacob.


GREEN
So nice to see you.


JACOB
Sarah and Sally. How are you?


BLUE
Wonderful.


GREEN
Fabulous.


BLUE
Another beautiful day in Seattle.


JACOB
If you like rain.


GREEN
Love it.


BLUE
Cherish it.


GREEN
Adore it.


JACOB
What brings you here?


(Hair drier is heard off stage. JJ rushes in with hair drier)


JJ
Die alien scum!


(Drier unplugs and JJ smiles embarrassed and exits again)


BLUE
We came to apologize to your friend JJ.


GREEN
We played a joke on him.


BLUE
And he took it a little too seriously I think.


JACOB
He is convinced you’re aliens.


(JJ rushes out with ? Fails - runs away)


GREEN
Totally our fault.


BLUE
We were completely responsible.


GREEN
We thought it would be amusing.


BLUE
Hilarious.


GREEN
He was making moves on us.


BLUE
Flirting.


GREEN
Shamelessly Hitting on us.


BLUE
So we decided to get back at him.


GREEN
By scaring the pants off of him.


BLUE
It worked a little too well.


(JJ rushes in - Jacob stops him)


JACOB
JJ  - stop - they're here to apologize- they said it was a joke like I suspected.


JJ
No it's real - I saw their eyes change.


BLUE
Contact lenses.


GREEN
See all gone - totally normal now.


JJ
And I saw their sucker arm things. Just like in the picture on their coffee cup.


JACOB
What?


BLUE
I don't recall any suckers.


GREEN
Perhaps your friend is not well. I know what would make you feel all better.


BLUE
A cup of SpaceLoot coffee and a cup of our special SpaceLoot soup.


GREEN
You read my mind.


JJ
Ahhh! They're mind readers too. I ain't drinking any of your witches brew.


Jacob
JJ - they look nothing like aliens - they look totally Human.


JJ
They look a bit like mermaids in their alien form like the ones on their cups. Look at the symbol.


JACOB
I thought it was a mermaid but it does look rather alien now that I’m looking more closely at it.


(JJ picks up JACOB’s fallen cup and shows him. BLUE and Green laugh the same laugh)


BLUE
Silly boy.


GREEN
Mermaids.


BLUE
I'm flattered.


GREEN
Just call me Ariel.


JACOB
So what are they JJ? Aliens or mermaids?


JJ
Maybe both. Maybe all them mermaids sailors saw were aliens. And they found a way to make their way to land. But they need rain to keep their skin from drying up.


BLUE
What a lovely story.


GREEN
A fairy tale.


BLUE
Pure fantasy.


JACOB
I think your offer of coffee and soup sounds great. Let me get my coat and an umbrella and we’ll take you up on your offer.


GREEN
Fantastic.


BLUE
Terrific.


GREEN
Brilliant.


(JACOB exits - JJ looks at them nervously and slowly backs away - they follow -GREEN  circles around behind and he bumps into her and BLUE grabs him.)


BLUE
We warned you.


GREEN
But you didn't obey.


BLUE
You must pay.


GREEN
For your disobedience.


(GREEN puts her hand over JJs mouth so he can't scream and they drag him out)


(Silence a moment and then JACOB enters)


JACOB
What the...? JJ? Where did they go?


END OF SCENE

To be continued...

Please contact doug@freedrama.net for permission to perform this script.



Rednecks vs Aliens comedy stage play script for four actors


Help Freedrama and Earn Money While Helping

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Freedrama needs your help. We are a very small company (just my wife and I) and it becomes challenging to manage a large website and keep up with our publications. So we are looking to pay people who would like to help us out.

We are looking for people who would like to find errors in our scripts and website (freedrama.net and this blog). You can find grammar problems, typos and bad website links.

We will pay $1 for each error you find up to $50.  We will pay via PayPal.com. 

You can earn this more than once but please only find 50 errors at a time and get approval for finding the next 50. 

If you're interested, email doug@freedrama.net and let us know when you get started.  We'll also be happy to answer any questions about this for you by email or in the comments below.

Thank you for your support of Freedrama!



Hysterical History of Cleopatra Scene 4 free stage play script

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The Hysterical History of Cleopatra
by D. M. Larson

SCENE 4

***

Copyright (c) 2017
All Rights Reserved*
*Please do NOT repost the text of this play online

For permission to perform the play contact doug@freedrama.net

***

Contact doug@freedrama.net for permission to perform the script.

***

If necessary, practice with audience for upcoming participation:
Cleopatra = All Hail Cleopatra
Snakes = Hiss!
Alexander the Great = He’s great.
Little Caesar = Pizza! Pizza!
(and feel free to throw in a random new silly one just to be funny and get your audience to do something weird such as they do the wave every time they see a Roman ship -
NUT: just kidding on the last one but you all sure looked funny doing it)


BABI
This is a disaster. Augustus is invading Egypt!


NUT
Who?


BABI
Augustus… ruler of Rome!


NUT
You mean Octavian?


ALEXA
His full name is Gaius Julius Caesar Octovianus.


NUT
I see why he changed it to Augustus.


GEB
Where is Mark Antony and his army?


ALEXA
Defeated. Antony is dead.


NUT
Dead?  That can’t be right.


ALEXA
I just report the facts. I don’t create them.


NUT
I could use a little fake news right now. This news is too depressing.


ALEXA
I’m not sure where Siri is. I’m sure she’d be happy to provide you with some fake news.


NUT
Ouch. You don’t like Siri very much do you, Alexa?


ALEXA
Who does?


BABI
Will you two focus?  We have to do something!


NUT
Running away sounds like a really good idea.


(SHU enters)


SHU
Please everyone. Remain calm.


BABI
Remain calm?  What is there to remain calm about?


SHU
We have one last task we must fulfill.


(CLEOPATRA enters)


ALL
All hail Cleopatra!


CLEOPATRA
Please there’s no time for that. I need your help. I need one last incredible moment to end this madness. With Antony gone, there is no hope of survival so I plan to face my end in the most dramatic way possible. I want something that will be remembered. I want something that will leave my mark on history and be talked about for many generations to come.


SHU
Think people. We need something grand. Something amazing. Something people will never forget.


NUT
How about snakes?


AUDIENCE
Hisss!


CLEOPATRA
Yes!  Snakes!  That is very original. Very memorable indeed.  Fetch me the deadliest snakes you can find!  


NUT
I’m on it!  Snakes!  


AUDIENCE
Hisss!


NUT
Yes!


(NUT exits)


SHU
Are you sure?


CLEOPATRA
Of course I am sure. It's genius.


SHU
We are pleased to serve you.


CLEOPATRA
You all have served me well. We had many good years together. None of the recent events are anyone’s fault. These things have been out of our control. I have provided you all you letters of recommendation. I hope you can all find good work somewhere else.


(She gives them each a scroll)


SHU
You are too kind.


GEB
You honor us.


BABI
It has been our honor to serve you.


ALEXA
I have been proud to serve you as our ruler for these 21 years. I am sad that we will be losing you at only 39 years old. We were hoping for a long and prosperous reign of Cleopatra.


ALL
All hail Cleopatra.


(NUT enters)


NUT
I have an asp for you. Its bite is quick and painless.


ALEXA
The asp, also known as a viper, has a bite...


SHU
Not now, Alexa.


CLEOPATRA
Come and serve your queen in her final moments.


NUT
It would be my honor.


(CLEOPATRA exits with NUT who is excited)


GEB
Lucky dog! This is so unfair.


BABI
Well, it looks like we’re done here and I hear soldiers. This is a good time to depart.


SHU
What will all of you do?


GEB
I’m heading to Pompeii. I hear they have some big things going on there. They say the gods are so active there that they make the mountain shake. I want in on some of that Mount Vesuvius action.


BABI
I hear there is a man in the desert who is doing something called baptism which involves dunking people in water to remove evil spirits or something. He’s gathering quite a following. The Romans can’t stand it so I would be happy to help drive them crazy.


SHU
You’ve been a good team. A wonderful team. Dare I say, “great?”


GEB
I know Alexander would.


AUDIENCE
He’s great!


BABI
Wait! What’s going to happen to Caesarian?


GEB
The little Caesar?


AUDIENCE
Pizza! Pizza!


SHU
I will be serving the boy.


ALEXA
Isn’t that dangerous? Augustus has said…


SHU
I know. But I promised Cleopatra I would do my best to protect him. Siri is watching over him as we speak. I must go.


(SHU exits)


GEB
So brave.


BABI
So noble.


ALEXA
The Roman army approaches.


GEB
See ya!


BABI
Wait for me!


CLEOPATRA (OFF)
(screams)
Ow!  That hurt!


(NUT runs back in)


NUT
That wasn’t quick or painless.


ALEXA
As I tried to explain…


NUT
Never mind, Alexa.  It’s all over now.


CLEOPATRA (OFF)
Ouchy….


ALEXA
It won’t be over for another hour or two.


NUT
I feel terrible. I thought the asp poison worked much quicker than that.


(CLEOPATRA stumbles in)


CLEOPATRA
Snakes!  Why did I pick snakes?!


AUDIENCE
Hiss!


CLEOPATRA (CONT.)
The snakes weren’t supposed to be for me. They were for the Romans. I wanted them attacked by poison snakes.


NUT
Ooops. I thought you wanted them to… uh…


CLEOPATRA
Help me… please… get this snake off of me!


(NUT and ALEXA rush to her)


ALEXA
The snake. I see the snake.


NUT
I’ll grab it.


ALEXA
Too late. I got it.


(ALEXA dies)


NUT
See! It can be quick.


CLEOPATRA
Why? Why can’t it be that way for me?


NUT
Where is that snake?  Found it!  Ow!  Noooo!


(NUT dies)


CLEOPATRA
You’re dead already?!  This is so unfair.  Wait… I think… no… not yet… this is taking forever. Maybe if I had it bite me again. Where is that snake?  Oh!  I think it’s working now.  I will go to my final resting place.  How is my hair?  I want to look perfect for my death. I want it to be memorable. I want my name to go down in history… more famous than even Alexander… because… he’s… he’s…. ga… ga… rrr...rrrruuuuhhhh!


(NUT sits up)


NUT
I believe she said…


AUDIENCE
He’s great!


(NUT dies again and falls on Cleopatra)


CLEOPATRA
Don’t mess up my hair!


NUT
Sorry.


CLEOPATRA
This poison is taking forever.


NUT
Sorry about that too.


CLEOPATRA
You should be.


NUT
I am.


CLEOPATRA
Just die already.


NUT
Okay.


(Silence)


CLEOPATRA
Are you dead yet?


NUT
No... you?


CLEOPATRA
No.


(NUT sits up)


NUT
This might take awhile so I think we’ll end the play now.


CLEOPATRA
Bye.


NUT
Good night.


CLEOPATRA
Sleep tight.


NUT
Don’t let the snakes bite.


AUDIENCE
Hiss!

END OF PLAY

BACK TO PART 1

***

Copyright (c) 2017
All Rights Reserved*
*Please do NOT repost the text of this play online

For permission to perform the play contact doug@freedrama.net

***

Hysterical History of Cleopatra Scene 3 free stage play script

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Hysterical History of Cleopatra
by D. M. Larson

SCENE 3

***

Copyright (c) 2017
All Rights Reserved*
*Please do NOT repost the text of this play online

For permission to perform the play contact doug@freedrama.net

***

Practice with audience for upcoming participation
Little Caesar = Pizza! Pizza!
Snakes = Hisss!
Alexander the Great = He’s grrreat!


SCENE 3


SHU
I can’t wait for Siri to get here and tell us the news.


NUT
What news?


BABI
I thought Alexa was going to tell us.


NUT
Tell us what?


SHU
I was sure it was Siri.


NUT
What’s the news already?


SHU
If I knew I would tell you.


BABI
If I knew I wouldn’t tell you.


NUT
Whatever.


(GEB enters)


GEB
Hey everyone. Let’s get the party started.


BABI
Having an Ides of March party was such a great idea.


SHU
Now that we are allies with the Romans, we might as well enjoy their holidays. We’ll celebrate the Ides of March as a way to show solidarity.


GEB
Works for me. I’m all for celebrating both Egyptian and Roman holidays. The more parties the better.


(SIRI enters)


NUT
What is the Ides of March anyway?


SIRI
The Ides of March happens on the 15th day of the month. It is a celebration in honor of the Roman god Jupiter and which involves parties, picnics and sacrificing a sheep.


BABI
We don’t have to sacrifice a sheep, do we?


GEB
We’ll let the Romans handle the sacrifice.


NUT
And we’ll handle the parties.


SHU
So what is the good news, Siri?


SIRI
I’m happy to report that Queen Cleopatra’s visit to Rome is going exceptionally well. Caesar has ordered that a golden statue of her be placed in his family’s temple.


SHU
That’s a good sign.


SIRI
Cleopatra is having a bit of trouble being accepted by the Romans but Caesar is bestowing this great honor on her anyway to prove his love to her.


BABI
And how is their son doing? Little Ptolemy Caesar.


GEB
I hear they call him Caesarian.


SIRI
That means “Little Caesar.”


AUDIENCE
Pizza! Pizza!


BABI
Do you think he could be the next Caesar one day?


NUT
If Cleopatra has her way he will be.


SIRI
Actually the heir to the Roman throne is named Octavius, Caesar’s nephew.


GEB
Give Cleopatra time. She’ll find a way to change that. She can be very influential over Caesar.


SHU
Perhaps that will be our next task from Cleopatra.


NUT
Enough business talk. Let’s party!


(Optional dance number with a song such as “Walk Like an Egyptian” - then ALEXA rushes in)


ALEXA
I have terrible news.


SHU
What’s happened, Alexa?


ALEXA
Mighty Caesar. He is dead.


BABI
What?


SHU
Where?


NUT
Why?


GEB
How?


SIRI
You forgot to ask who.


ALEXA
Caesar went to the Roman Senate and some of the senators killed him.


SHU
Caesar was assassinated?


BABI
By his own government.


SHU
What about Cleopatra?


GEB
Is she safe?


ALEXA
She has fled Rome and is on her way back to Egypt.


BABI
This is horrible. What do we do?


NUT
First we get some snakes…


ALL
No snakes!


AUDIENCE
Hissss!


SHU
You said Octavian will be the new ruler. We have to find a way to talk to him. We can set up a private meeting with Cleopatra.


ALEXA
The rumor is that the Roman Empire will be divided up between several of Caesar’s top men. Octavian will rule Rome but Egypt will fall under the rule of Mark Antony.


SHU
Then we must work on a meeting between Cleopatra and Mark Antony. We must have his support. If Cleopatra is to protect us and keep control, she must speak to this man.


GEB
And work her magic.


SHU
Let’s go and prepare. We have a lot of work to do.


NUT
So much for the party. I thought the Ides of March was supposed to be fun. The Roman have a weird way of celebrating. Sacrificing a sheep is bad enough, but their emperor too.  Yikes.  Those Romans scare me. Let’s hope Mark Antony isn’t as bad as the rest of them. Of course, he can’t be as great as Alexander.


AUDIENCE
He’s grrreat!

END OF SCENE

***

Copyright (c) 2017
All Rights Reserved*
*Please do NOT repost the text of this play online

For permission to perform the play contact doug@freedrama.net

***

Hysterical History of Cleopatra Scene 2 free stage play script

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Hysterical History of Cleopatra
by D. M. Larson

SCENE 2

***

Copyright (c) 2017
All Rights Reserved*
*Please do NOT repost the text of this play online

For permission to perform the play contact doug@freedrama.net

***

If necessary, practice again with audience for upcoming cheers:
All hail Cleopatra
Hiss!
He’s grrreat!

SCENE 2

SHU
The tour was a huge success.  Thank you all for all your support on this wonderful achievement. Cleopatra has the entire country talking. She is Egypt's new sweetheart.

GEB
They are carving her name on everything.

BABI
You should see all the statues they’re making.

NUT
We should make shirts with her picture on them.

GEB
No one would ever wear a shirt with a picture of someone on it.

NUT
It seems like something everyone would love shirts like that.

BABI
That will never catch on.

NUT
It would be so much easier than carrying around a statue.

SHU
I have some exciting news. Cleopatra herself is coming to thank all of you for your hard work.

BABI
Really?  This is so exciting. I wish you had told us sooner. I want to look my best for her.

GEB
Actually you don’t want to look nicer than her. She doesn’t like it.

BABI
How can you look nicer than her?  She’s so beautiful.

SHU
Because we were so successful with our last campaign, she is going to ask us to help with a new task.  

BABI
Another challenge.  I’m ready.

NUT
I don’t know if I am. I’m a little worn out from the last one.

GEB
I am honored to work for her again.

NUT
You would be.

GEB
What is that supposed to mean?

NUT
I saw the way you followed Cleopatra around everywhere during our last campaign. That was embarrassing.

GEB
That’s what we were supposed to do! Where were you?

NUT
I was busy… thinking.

GEB
That does take you a bit longer than the rest of us.

SHU
Focus, people. Our next task will not be an easy one.

BABI
What is it?  Can you give us a little hint?

SHU
I believe it has something to do with Rome.

GEB
Oh dear. That’s not good.

BABI
I hear Julius Caesar will be visiting.

NUT
Or invading.

SHU
Now let’s not the rumors get the best of us.

GEB
Here she comes!

(Everyone scrambles to get in position to greet CLEOPATRA - CLEOPATRA enters with one or more SERVANTS)

ALL
All hail Cleopatra!
(AUDIENCE TOO)

(GEB goes to kiss CLEOPATRA’S hand but SERVANT blocks the way)

CLEOPATRA
Thank you good people for all your amazing work on the tour of Egypt. It was a blessing to connect with my people in such a personal way.

SHU
The honor was ours.

CLEOPATRA
Now I have a much bigger challenge for all of you. As you may have heard, the Roman Emperor, Julius Caesar, is coming to Egypt. He brings an army… (dramatic pause as everyone looks at each other nervously) ...but I do not wish to have a war. I want to speak to Caesar alone but his generals will not allow a private meeting. But I am a much better negotiator one-on-one. I have a way with words that works better in more intimate settings. So my task for all of you is to find a way for me to be alone with Caesar so he can appreciate the full depth of my negotiation skills.

SHU
We will do our best to find a way to make this happen for you.

CLEOPATRA
Do not fail me good people. You must find a way. Egypt’s fate rests on this meeting. Rome and Egypt must stay at peace for the good of our people. War will only hurt us and destroy all the good we’ve done for Egypt.

(CLEOPATRA leaves with SERVANT)

ALL with AUDIENCE
All hail Cleopatra.

BABI
Rome is bringing an army?

GEB
This is terrible.

SHU
Let’s not panic, people. We have a mission. We have to find a way to get Cleopatra alone with Caesar.

NUT
What if we get some snakes…

AUDIENCE
Hisss!

GEB
What is it with you and snakes?

(NUT pouts and exits)

SHU
I’m looking at Caesar’s schedule during his visit… He has some alone time on the second evening in his quarters.

BABI
We can have her waiting for him.

SHU
It will be guarded. His soldiers will not allow it.

GEB
We can sneak her in somehow.

BABI
She can hide in something.

GEB
What would be big enough?

(NUT enters with a carpet)

BABI
A carpet!

GEB
Let’s try.

(They roll out the carpet)

BABI
Lie down.

(They stick NUT inside)

GEB
Roll it up.

(They roll NUT up inside)

SET
Perfect.

GEB
Then her servants can roll her out dramatically like this.

(They roll out carpet and NUT lands in a weird position)

BABI
I imagine she’ll come out of there much more gracefully than that.

NUT
Ow.

GEB
Let’s try again.

(They put NUT back in)

SHU
I think this will work. Excellent work people. Let’s go share this with Cleopatra.

(They all exit - NUT is still in the carpet)

NUT
Hey? Anybody there? Hey!

(They rush back in and roll out NUT who tries to come out more gracefully this time)

END OF SCENE

GO TO PART 3

***

Copyright (c) 2017
All Rights Reserved*
*Please do NOT repost the text of this play online

For permission to perform the play contact doug@freedrama.net

***

Hysterical History of Cleopatra Scene 1 free stage play script

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The Hysterical History of Cleopatra
By D. M. Larson


***

Copyright (c) 2017
All Rights Reserved*
*Please do NOT repost the text of this play online

For permission to perform the play contact doug@freedrama.net


***


CAST OF CHARACTERS
9 or more actors
(as few as 7 with doubling)
2-4 females and 4-6 of any gender
(in order of appearance)


SHU - head of marketing


BABI* - marketing assistant


GEB* - marketing assistant


NUT - marketing assistant that loves snakes


SIRI - Information specialist who wears something like a mysterious cloak with an Apple symbol. She does not like Alexa.


ALEXA - Information specialist who can have an Amazon symbol on her cloak or have an Amazonian look to her. She does not like Siri.


CLEOPATRA** - the Queen of Egypt - need I say more?


SERVANT** - Cleopatra’s administrative assistant


*SIRI’s actor can play CLEOPATRA and ALEXA can play SERVANT if needed - if they double SIRI can have a wig, hood or mask that hides her face so we can easily become CLEOPATRA in the next scene)


BABI and GEB’s lines can be divided up between other actors if more are available
(This is an interactive play with audience participation. Before the play begins, some of the actors should practice the following with the audience.  NUT is the chant leader but others in the cast can help. If extra actors are available, you can have someone appear with a sign with the audience phrases in bold)


When NUT cues you with “Cleopatra” say - “All hail Cleopatra!”
When NUT gets excited about snakes, go“Hiss!”
When Alexander the Great is mentioned say,“He’s grrreat!”
When you hear “Little Caesar” say“Pizza! Pizza!”


SCENE 1


SHU
Thank you all for coming. We have a major PR problem here. The Ptolemy family is a royal pain in the Nile and we have to do something about it.


BABI
How we long for the days of Alexander the Great.


AUDIENCE
He’s grrreat!


SHU
Things were great then.


GEB
The Ptolemies had to go and ruin it all. They are a bunch of greedy, self-centered rulers with no concern for the common people.


NUT
What ruler has ever cared about the people?


GEB
Siri? Were any of the pharaohs good to the people?


SIRI
Ramesses II is considered the most successful Pharaoh in Egyptian history making Egypt very rich and prosperous.


BABI
How about you, Alexa? Can you top that?


ALEXA
Queen Hatshepsut achieved a peaceful rule over a prosperous Egypt for over 20 years and created many public works programs that benefited the people.


SHU
The people are very restless under Ptolemy rule. Perhaps it is time for a queen again.


GEB
A queen? Really?


SHU
Indeed. At long last, I believe we have a Ptolemy we can get behind. Her name is… Cleopatra.


(NUT and other cast members get the audience to cheer)


AUDIENCE
All hail Cleopatra!


SIRI
Cleopatra has been joint ruler with her father Ptolemy XII Auletes and then with her brothers Ptolemy XIII and XIV.


BABI
The guys keep dying though.


GEB
They were holding Cleopatra back.


BABI
Why support any of the Ptolemies? They are proud Greeks and refuse to even learn the Egyptian language.


ALEXA
Cleopatra is fluent in Egyptian and Greek as well as 7 other languages. She is the first Ptolemy to learn our language.


SIRI
She says she is the reincarnation of the Egyptian goddess Isis.


BABI
Is that true?


ALEXA
Isis is the goddess of health, marriage and wisdom…


SHU
Never mind, Alexa. The important thing is that we finally have a Queen we can support. And we need to make this work. With the Roman armies growing in power, we have to make ourselves strong again or we’ll be overrun.


SIRI
The Roman armies are led by Julius Caesar.


ALEXA
He wishes to reunite the lands once ruled by Alexander the Great.


AUDIENCE
He’s grrreat.


SHU
Without a united Egypt under a strong ruler, I’m afraid Rome will conquer us. So I have gathered all of you here to develop a PR campaign to get the people behind our Queen.


BABI
Let’s start with a branding campaign. We’ll come up with a new slogan and a cool logo.


NUT
What about something with snakes?


AUDIENCE
Hisssss!


NUT
I love snakes.


BABI
No snakes.


GEB
We can do something with the whole Isis angle. Let’s play up the whole Egyptian goddess reincarnation idea.


BABI
I’ll write some speeches in Egyptian that she can address to the people.


SHU
I’ll schedule some rallies around Egypt. We’ll want to get her out with the people.


GEB
Parades! We must have a grand parade all around Egypt. She’ll arrive at every major city in style.


BABI
And we’ll end with a river cruise back down the Nile to Alexandria.


SIRI
One of Cleopatra’s favorite places there is the Royal Library of Alexandria which is one of the most important libraries in the world where many famous scholars have studied.


SHU
We can end the tour at the library and solidify her image as a wise ruler who will guide her nation with intelligence. Let’s go to work, people.


SIRI
Most of the books in the library are written on papyrus scrolls made from the papyrus plant.


ALEXA
The library was created by Ptolemy I and contains an estimated 400,000 scrolls and books.


SIRI
Ptolemy I is said to be a descendant of Heracles.


ALEXA
Alexandria is named in honor of Alexander the Great.


AUDIENCE
He’s grrrreat!


NUT
Will you two give it a rest?

END OF SCENE


***

Copyright (c) 2017
All Rights Reserved*
*Please do NOT repost the text of this play online

For permission to perform the play contact doug@freedrama.net

***

"Phone It In" Monologue for an Actress about an Actress

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PHONE IT IN
By D. M. Larson

Copyright (c) 2017 All Rights Reserved
Please do NOT repost the text of this script online
Contact doug@freedrama.net for permission to use the script.


PART 1


(MELINDA is an actress entering a studio to do a voiceover for an animated movie. She is talking to a reporter on her cell phone as she enters)


MELINDA
I always have time for you, Jeanie. I am happy to speak to a reporter of your caliber. I mean it. You’re the best. Of course I don’t mind. I love promoting projects that I am working on and there’s nothing better than sharing this amazing animated feature I’m starring in. Very few people know that Snow White had a sister named Rose Red and this film introduces this amazing character to the world. She is fiesty, spunky and a woman for all little girls to look up to. I don’t think the world was ready for Rose Red until now. Finally women have reached the point where they can have a more progressive and independent woman like Rose Red as a role model. Snow White represents another time where women were to be seen and not heard. But Rose Red is heard. And she has something important to say.


(MELINDA sees someone motioning to her from the sound booth which behind the audience)


Looks like they need me to get to work. The producer has been amazing and incredibly supportive. What a pleasure to work with.


I better go, kiss, kiss.


PART 2


(Her mood shifts dramatically when she hangs up the phone. She looks at the script and throws it down)


What is this? The movie trailer?  Why I am doing the trailer before we even do the movie?


(Reads a little of the script)


“In a world…”


Really?  You’re starting with “In a world…”?  How original.  Fine. Yes, I’m ready. Say action or something.


(Reads the script)


“In a world of magic, a creature emerges from the depths of the earth, threatening to destroy it. Darkness comes to the land as a mysterious dwarf roams the forest and a prince suddenly disappears from the kingdom. But two sisters have the power to free the land and it’s people from the clutches of this evil. One is named Snow White and the other Rose Red.”


(Looks at sound booth)


So I’m not Snow White or Rose Red?  What am I? The ugly Dwarf creature who brings the darkness?  Oh, I’m an angel. How sweet. I think I’d rather be the dwarf.  I never get anything interesting anymore.


(Calls agent)


I thought I was the lead in this.  No, I’m some angel.  Fine, fine. Whatever.  I better not be getting a pay cut too.


(Hangs up)


Yes, I’m ready. Action.


(Reads script)


“This was once a peaceful land where human and beast lived in harmony.”


(Looks at sound booth where someone has said something to her)


What? Not angelic enough for you? Take what you can get okay. Audiences could care less what I sound like. They just want to see my name on the poster. They probably won’t even know which character I am.  


Look. I didn’t ask to do this, but I need the money, and you need the star power.  I’m the most famous person in this cast. I may have only been 4 years old when my show was a hit but I was loved all over the world. People adored me. They named their little girls after me.


(Sighs. She is fighting back angry tears)


You made me the way I am. You chewed me up and used up my cuteness until there was nothing left but bitterness inside.


(Angry)


I hate all of you!


(Sighs. Calms down)

And I hate myself.


(Nods. Breathes deep and out to calm down)


Yes, I’m done. Let’s finish this. I want to get out of here before the stores close. I am in need of some serious shopping therapy after this.


PART 3


(Reads script)


“This was once a peaceful land where human and beast lived in harmony. Nature put its trust in humanity to care for the land and take only what was needed. Caretakers not takers. Givers as well as receivers. Finding balance. But a new threat emerged from deep within the Earth. These dark creatures tunneled through the ground and carved out treasures.  They hunted for all that glittered and sparkled in the darkness. These greedy creatures are known to many as the dwarves. Once there were a few scattered groups, but now they overran the forest, digging holes and hoarding their treasures in caves, tearing up the Earth and giving nothing in return. Perhaps there is another way. If a warrior can not stop this dwarven threat, then other means must be found. I will seek out good to fight the evil.  Kindness to undo this greed.”


(sighs)


No I'm not doing it again. I nailed it. I'm not getting paid enough to let you play director. You’ve done how many films? Two? You know how many I've done? More than two that's for sure. And I'm like half your age.


Where's he going? Did I hurt his feelings? Poor guy. Maybe he should have brought his big boy feelings to the studio today.


(Phone rings)


Hello, Donna. No I'm not doing anything important. Just sitting in this back alley recording studio getting animated. I'm nailing it. Perfect on the first take.


(Annoyed)


The director called you? What did that wonderful man say to you?


(Angry)


What?! He can't fire me! He needs me. This cartoon needs me. It's nothing without my name on it!


(Pause. Breathes.)


Yes I'm calm. What do you mean this was my last chance? Last chance for what?


Can we talk about this later? They’re staring at me.


Bye bye kiss kiss.


(Smiles)


So where were we? Can I do that line again? Maybe I could try something a little different. Maybe I could do an accent? Isn't this fairy tale German or something? Let me try it with a German accent….


(Does line again with German accent)


“This was once a peaceful land where human and beast lived in harmony.”


Sure. Laugh. It was funny huh? Maybe a little more comedy is what this cartoon needs.


Why is everyone leaving? We’re not done are we? I have a bunch more lines. I’ll do them a hundred different ways if you want. Please!


They're gone. I'm alone. I’m talking to myself. Do I always talk to myself? I always assume someone is listening. Anyone listening? Anyone? Hello?


It’s just me.


(She tries calling someone but they don’t answer. She packs up her stuff, stands, looks at the studio, sighs and exits quietly)


END OF MONOLOGUE

Copyright (c) 2017 All Rights Reserved
Please do NOT repost the text of this script online

Contact doug@freedrama.net for permission to use the script.

Monologue for an Actress about an Actress


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